As I prayed about the blog post message for tonight, God clearly said change it up. Tell them your testimony from the past couple of days. So, today, I want to just show you how awesome God is and how He speaks… right now… in 2018.
If you know me personally, you know that worry and fear is a huge struggle in my life, particularly with new situations or situations in which I’m alone. I’ve struggled with this for as long as I can remember, and it’s not healthy. It’s a sin according to God’s Word. With some background on my personality, let me proceed with HOW GOOD MY GOD IS.
I’ve been praying for many months about taking a trip. After much prayer, I felt that it was God’s will to proceed with the trip, and so, in obedience and faith, I booked a flight.
Ok? What’s so bad about that?
I’ve never flown before, and I’m doing it for the first time alone.
The situation sparked sleepless nights. Worry. Stress. Overthinking. Doubting myself, my decision, and ultimately God.
Did I hear You correctly, God? Is it really Your will? Am I supposed to do this? Especially since I just experienced a back injury?
The culprit? The same worry and fear that’s plagued me since childhood. The same worry and fear that has led to many acts of disobedience in the past seven years.
So, in the early morning hours, I found myself crying out to God. And these are the exact words I said.
Do I have to do this alone? Can’t there be a different way to get to this end goal?
Can you just take this worry and fear from me? I’m tired of struggling, and I’m tired of my lack of faith.
Can I ever win against these struggles? Can I ever do new, fun, exciting things without feeling all of this?
Lord, I feel like You’re silent. Please help me. Please show me this was Your will for me to do this.
So all that happens on a Saturday night. A Saturday night when, earlier, I’m writing another blog post all about comfort zones. One that I almost deleted about five times because the words just wouldn’t come as naturally as blog post messages normally come. But one that I continued to write because I felt God telling me to continue… thinking the message was only for others and not realizing it was all part of the story.
So after a rough night of no sleep, I wake up for church prepared with a video message for a Bible study I’m doing with the youth at my church. I arrive at church… and technology is a bust. I can’t play the video. So, I thought to myself, Why don’t I just use the message I typed up last night? And that’s what we did. We talked about God calling us out of our comfort zones.
I heard the whisper of the Spirit then. Macey, listen to the message that You just taught. Trust me out of your comfort zone. Just trust me.
I enter the sanctuary… dejected. Not expecting to hear from God. Just in a “poor Macey” type of mood.
My pastor stands up to preach, and he announces that we will have a guest speaker–my friend Hannah’s dad. Mr. Jon stands up to speak, and he updates us on the family (they live in another state). So, he tells us what’s new in the lives of each of the family members.
And while I loved hearing how everyone was doing, it was no coincidence that he told two specific stories. The first was about Hannah participating in World Race… about having faith in her traveling… such faith that just seemed to radiate from him.
Wow, can I have faith like that in my travels?
Then, he talked about a back injury he had experienced, how God preserved him through that, and how God’s will will always prevail.
Ok, God…. travel… back injuries… I hear You..
I’m in awe before he even begins the message. But then he tells us to open our Bibles to Genesis 32, and he speaks about Jacob wrestling with God and being out of our comfort zones. His sermon went like this.
His first point? There are battles we have to face alone. My first question to God? Do I have to do this alone? Can’t there be a different way to get to this end goal?
His second point? There are battles we cannot win without something changing in us. He went on to say that we have to go through situations in order to grow our faith. If God just took it away, there wouldn’t be growth. My second question? Can you just take this worry and fear from me? I’m tired of struggling, and I’m tired of my lack of faith.
His third point? You can achieve victory with God in your battles. My third question? Can I ever win against these struggles? Can I ever do new, fun, exciting things without feeling all of this?
At this point, I’m in tears and speechless. Every question that I had was met with a direct answer.
I head down to the altar just praising God for His faithfulness. I get back to my seat, and my phone lights up. It’s a text from a number not stored in my phone, and it says, “Hey this is Faith. I think I was supposed to call you.”
Yes, it was a real person named Faith. Yes, she had the wrong number. But it was the wrong number at the right time.
Macey, just have faith.
So, whatever you’re facing, God is bigger. He has a plan, and if He’s called you to do something, He will equip you for it. And if in honesty you ask Him questions that are on your heart and to reveal His will for you, HE WILL.
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Picture is not mine